A successful industry pro walks you through your biggest project ever—step-by-step
Writing a book feels impossible—
like MOUNT EVEREST.
BESTSELLING AUTHOR
and founder of TheOnion.com
Scott Dikkers
Let’s Climb Past Every Excuse,
One Page at a Time
You’ve always wanted to WRITE A NOVEL 📖
But every time you think about it, your brain serves up
the perfect cocktail of TERROR and SELF-DOUBT 😨
Maybe you want to EXPRESS yourself.
Maybe you’ve got stories bouncing around in your head that WON’T SHUT UP.
Maybe you’re just SICK and TIRED of watching other people live out their dreams,
go on book tours, and give interviews about their book...
All the while you’re thinking, “THAT SHOULD BE ME.”
It SHOULD be you.
With Guidance That Spurs Writers to Write
‘First Novel Published’
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“Helped me define my own, unique comedic style. I CREDIT SCOTT’s class with helping me get my first novel published.”
Annie Goodson
novelist and teacher
‘Extremely Fortunate’
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“I’VE ADMIRED SCOTT Dikkers’ comedy for decades and have been extremely fortunate to work with and learn from him.”
Andy Borowitz
New York Times bestselling author
‘Instrumental’
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“INTRUMENTAL ... Any comedian, no matter their experience, can benefit from SCOTT’S KNOWLEDGE.”
Matthew Spina
#1 Amazon bestselling author, screenwriter
‘Really Loved...’
“Scott ... told you EXACTLY what he thought of your work and how to improve it. I really loved having him as an instructor.”
‘Incredible’
“Incredible learning experience. Scott could not possibly be more qualified. EXCELLENT feedback. Scott is a master.”
‘Learned So Much’
“I learned so much more about being intentional with my structures. Scott ... encourages REFLECTION and GROWTH.”
‘Fantastic’
“Scott is fantastic!
Brilliant,
SUPPORTIVE,
and super helpful!”
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“Scott is fantastic! Brilliant, SUPPORTIVE,
and super helpful!”
Scott’s best-selling books and top-level mentoring have been featured on...
Plot Twist: You’re Actually Going to Finish This Book
In Project Everest: the Novel Route, you’ll write a novel before the end of 2026,
and it won’t be the painful, soul-crushing experience you’re imagining.
Most people think writing a book is some kind of MYSTICAL PROCESS reserved for TORTURED GENIUSES with perfectly furnished writing studies and endless free time.
Why most first novels fail...
and the simple fix nobody talks about.
The real reason you keep abandoning chapters...
and the surprising 20-minute method for making them compelling.
Why perfect grammar is killing your voice...
and what to focus on instead.
How to transforming scenes from boring to compelling...
using the “9 and 3” method.
The ‘Holy Crap, I Actually Wrote a Book’ Journey
Project Everest: The Novel Route is designed to systematically dismantle every excuse,
fear, and roadblock standing between you and your completed novel.
By the end of 2026, you’ll hold your BEAUTIFUL, FINISHED BOOK in your hands.
And you’ll walk away with a set of skills that will make future writing projects feel like a walk in the park.
This isn’t about “maybe” writing a novel. It’s about DEFINITELY writing a novel
- How to create characters readers care about, even if you’re terrible at describing people...
-
The secret technique for finding story ideas in the most unexpected places...
-
Why your first draft doesn’t have to be perfect, and how that will actually make it better...
-
The “grocery store” approach to building a compelling plot...
- 5 ways to write scenes that readers won’t stop talking about...
-
How drawing rainbows can tranform your story into an irresistible hook machine...
-
The know-how to write any book in the future, in any genre you want...
- Confidence that will transform your entire creative life, FOREVER...
PLUS…
📌 DETAILED NOTES on your logline, outline, synopsis, and drafts
📌 WORKSHOP YOUR STORY with Scott and peers
📌 FREE access to video courses and books, and discounts on writing essentials
📌 and MORE
Your Novel Writing Expedition: Month by Month
🗓️ JANUARY-FEBRUARY: Introduction
Idea Excavation
💡 Generate 20 book concepts—including many future books—in under an hour…
You’ll unleash your inner genius.
💡 Take advantage of the “chicken nugget” theory of story construction…
To give you the best chance of success with your novel out of the gate.
💡 Avoid the 10 other mistakes first-time novelists make almost every time...
You can break the trend and turn these missteps into advantages.
💡 Generate 20 book concepts—including many
future books—in under an hour…
You’ll unleash your inner genius.
💡 Take advantage of the “chicken nugget”
theory of story construction…
To give you the best chance of success with
your novel out of the gate.
💡 Avoid the 10 other mistakes first-time
novelists make almost every time...
You can break the trend and turn these
missteps into advantages.
Concept Development
✨ Pick the absolute best concept for your novel…
Most writers pick the wrong one, and wonder why no one wants to read it.
✨ Create a logline so good, it makes readers want to devour your book...
By appealing to their subconscious desire for tension and resolution.
✨ Try the “Facebook focus group” method for testing your concept…
Learn the #1 way professional writers make sure they write GREAT stories.
✨ Pick the absolute best concept for your
novel…
Most writers pick the wrong one, and
wonder why no one wants to read it.
✨ Create a logline so good, it makes readers
want to devour your book...
By appealing to their subconscious desire
for tension and resolution.
✨ Try the “Facebook focus group” method for
testing your concept…
Learn the #1 way professional writers make
sure they write GREAT stories.
STAGE 1: ‘Base Camp’ Milestone Bonus
🏆 A foolproof MARKETING PLAN for your book (a $1,400 value)
🏆 The “How to Write Funny” course ($300 value)
🏆 A foolproof MARKETING PLAN for your
book (a $1,400 value)
🏆 The “How to Write Funny” course ($300
value)
🗓️ MARCH-APRIL: Character and Structure
Character Development
🕵🏻♂️ Answer to the age-old storytelling question…
Do characters drive plot, or does plot drive character?
🕵🏻♂️ Learn the "grocery store" method…
For creating characters that jump off the page and command readers’ attention.
🕵🏻♂️ Uncover the secret technique for motivating characters…
So that your readers root for them.
Story Structure
📕 Use the "backwards blueprint" technique to make story structure ridiculously simple…
Even if you consider yourself inept at telling stories.
📕 Find the discipline to stop fiddling with your first line and first chapter...
Before you rewrite them to death.
📕 Get rid of that one scene that’s in every novel…
That readers hate so much they want to throw your book against the wall.
📕 Use the "backwards blueprint" technique to
make story structure ridiculously simple…
Even if you consider yourself inept at
telling stories.
📕 Find the discipline to stop fiddling with your
first line and first chapter...
Before you rewrite them to death.
📕 Get rid of that one scene that’s in every
novel…
That readers hate so much they want to
throw your book against the wall.
STAGE 2: ‘Icefall’ Milestone Bonus
🏆 Resources and swipe files for building your author platform ($1,500 value)
🏆 All 4 How to Write Funny books ($50 value)
🏆 Comprehensive coverage on your story concept ($300 value)
🏆 Resources and swipe files for building
your author platform ($1,500 value)
🏆 All 4 How to Write Funny books ($50
value)
🏆 Comprehensive coverage on your story
concept ($300 value)
🗓️ MAY-JUNE: First Draft
Vomit Draft
✍️ Practice the stupid trick to write 3,000 words before lunch...
It doesn’t matter if you have nothing to write about.
✍️ Turn your day job into a novel-writing superpower...
Unlike most author hopefuls, who curse their 9-to-5 like it’s not a gold mine
✍️ Use the “funny filter” method for writing dialog that sparkles with originality...
You’ll be surprised how many people say, “You have an ear for dialog.”
✍️ Practice the stupid trick to write 3,000 words
before lunch...
It doesn’t matter if you have nothing to
write about.
✍️ Turn your day job into a novel-writing
superpower...
Unlike most author hopefuls, who curse
their 9-to-5 like it’s not a gold mine .
✍️ Use the “funny filter” method for writing
dialog that sparkles with originality...
You’ll be surprised how many people say,
“You have an ear for dialog.”
Draft Acceleration
📝 Employ professional writer tactics for getting workable first drafts quickly...
Without having to do an insane amount of rewriting.
📝 Muster the strength to write under all kinds of conditions...
Even when you don't feel “inspired” to write.
📝 Learn the secret technique for turning writer's block...
Into writing fuel.
📝 Employ professional writer tactics for getting
workable first drafts quickly...
Without having to do an insane amount of
rewriting.
📝 Muster the strength to write under all kinds of
conditions...
Even when you don't feel “inspired” to
write.
📝 Learn the secret technique for turning
writer's block...
Into writing fuel.
STAGE 3 ‘Camp 2’ Milestone Bonus
🏆 Tailored strategies for maintaining your writing momentum ($500 value)
🏆 Personalized guidance on your drafting process ($500 value)
🏆 The Comedy Business School course ($400 Value)
🏆 Tailored strategies for maintaining your
writing momentum ($500 value)
🏆 Personalized guidance on your drafting
process ($500 value)
🏆 The Comedy Business School course
($400 Value)
🗓️ JULY-AUGUST: Second Draft
Refinement Techniques
Now you’re completing your rough draft and forming it into a workable, readable first draft. What this means is you need to read it though and start refining. You’re smoothing out a big piece of carpeting now. It will be a lot of back and forth and a lot of thinking, revising your manuscript, your outline, and your treatment—in a particular order.
🧑🏻⚕️ Gather “beta readers” like the pros do to level up the quality of your story...
With a simple system to make miraculous use of so many useless opinions.
🧑🏻⚕️ Use the “Asimov” technique for handling brutally honest feedback...
Without breaking down in tears.
🧑🏻⚕️ The secret “level up” technique for editing that makes your writing sing...
It’s such an amazing way to amp up prose, it feels like it should be illegal.
🧑🏻⚕️ Gather “beta readers” like the pros do to
level up the quality of your story...
With a simple system to make
miraculous use of so many useless
opinions.
🧑🏻⚕️ Use the “Asimov” technique for handling
brutally honest feedback...
Without breaking down in tears.
🧑🏻⚕️ The secret “level up” technique for
editing that makes your writing sing...
It’s such an amazing way to amp up
prose, it feels like it should be illegal.
Deep Refinement
🔬 Tighten your manuscript like a professional editor...
Even if you don’t have access to one.
🔬 Sneak up on your book with an easy trick for finding plot holes you didn’t know existed...
And how to turn these ‘mistakes’ into the best parts of your novel.
🔬 Why most first drafts are terrible...
And how you’ll make yours shine.
🔬 Tighten your manuscript like a professional
editor...
Even if you don’t have access to one.
🔬 Sneak up on your book with an easy trick for
finding plot holes you didn’t know existed...
And how to turn these ‘mistakes’ into the
best parts of your novel.
🔬 Why most first drafts are terrible...
And how you’ll make yours shine.
STAGE 4 ‘Camp 3’ Milestone Bonus
🏆 A “Don’t Forget Your Audiobook” step-by-step course ($300 value)
🏆 Chance to win an audiobook cover and Audible upload and QC—free ($400 value)
🏆 A “Don’t Forget Your Audiobook” step-by-
step course ($300 value)
🏆 Chance to win an audiobook cover and
Audible upload—free ($400 value)
🗓️ SEPTEMBER-OCTOBER: Third Draft
Professional Polish
🔬 Learn why most developmental editors are a waste of money...
Workshop your book more effectively with 5 simple questions.
🔬 Practice the art of cutting 10,000 words from your book...
Without having a nervous breakdown.
🔬 An 11th hour technique for creating a page-turner through simple line edits...
Every step of the way, making your novel better and better.
🔬 Learn why most developmental editors are a
waste of money...
Workshop your book more effectively with
5 simple questions.
🔬 Practice the art of cutting 10,000 words from
your book...
Without having a nervous breakdown.
🔬 An 11th hour technique for creating a page-
turner through simple line edits...
Every step of the way, making your novel
better and better.
A Final Look
🌊 Understand when your book needs to be a work of art...
Versus when it needs to be an engine for sales.
🌊 How to let go of your perfect structure, intricate plot twists and surprise reversals...
And leave your story in the hands of your characters instead.
🌊 Learn to know if your manuscript is actually done…
Or you’re just tired of looking at it.
🌊 Understand when your book needs to be a
work of art...
Versus when it needs to be an engine for
sales.
🌊 How to let go of your perfect structure,
intricate plot twists and surprise reversals...
And leave your story in the hands of your
characters instead.
🌊 Learn to know if your manuscript is actually
done…
Or you’re just tired of looking at it.
STAGE 5 ‘Camp 4’ Milestone Bonus
🏆 Discounts on interior formatting and stealth marketing techniques ($300 value)
🏆 Comprehensive feedback on publishing strategies ($400 value)
🏆 Social Media Ads bootcamp ($800 value)
🏆 Discounts on interior formatting and
stealth marketing tips ($300 value)
🏆 Comprehensive feedback on publishing
strategies ($400 value)
🏆 Social Media Ads bootcamp ($800 value)
🗓️ NOVEMBER-DECEMBER: Release
Publication
👨💼 See why publishing traditionally is absolutely the best way to publish a book...
No two ways about it.
👨💼 See why self-publishing is absolutely the best way to publish a book...
No two ways about it. (Haha—you'll get the truth)
👨💼Learn a simple marketing technique that actually works to sell your book...
And does one other thing that’s even more important than selling your book.
👨💼 See why publishing traditionally is absolutely
the best way to publish a book...
No two ways about it.
👨💼 See why self-publishing is absolutely the best
way to publish a book...
No two ways about it (Haha—you'll get the
truth)
👨💼 Learn a simple marketing technique that
actually works to sell your book...
And does one other thing that’s even more
important than selling your book.
Launch and Celebration
🍾 Mix the secret sauce for a successful book launch...
And pop the champagne.
🍾 Build buzz for your novel before it’s even published...
While you sleep.
🍾 Sell more copies of your book doing one unthinkable thing...
Over and over and over again.
🍾 Mix the secret sauce for a successful book
launch...
And pop the champagne.
🍾 Build buzz for your novel before it’s even
published...
While you sleep.
🍾 Sell more copies of your book doing one
unthinkable thing...
Over and over and over again.
STAGE 6 ‘Summit’ Milestone Bonus
🏆 A final celebration and reflection Zoom session
🏆 Comprehensive marketing support for continued book sales ($600 value)
🏆 A special commemorative gift marking your novel’s completion ($ ??? value)
🏆 A final celebration and reflection Zoom
session
🏆 Comprehensive marketing support for
continued book sales ($600 value)
🏆 A special commemorative gift marking
your novel’s completion ($ ??? value)
Personal Guarantee
Try Project Everest for a full 60-day money-back guarantee
“If you’re not completely satisfied after completing two months of Project Everest, just contact my team at [email protected] and I will happily issue a refund with no questions asked.
No other coaching program offers such a strong guarantee.”
“Project Everest is truly a risk-free opportunity that will take your career to the next level. If you don't think it will, I’ll give you your money back.”
The Real Cost of Writing a Novel (Spoiler: It’s Not Cheap)
Enough with the Everest analogies. We need to talk about SOMETHING SERIOUS.
Also, I need an excuse to show this awesome picture of me writing one of my novels in the REDWOOD NATIONAL PARK recently.
The serious thing: some PAINFUL MATH. Here’s what trying to write a novel on your own will actually cost you:
Let’s Break it Down
Let’s Break it Down
Professional Costs:
• Developmental Editor: $3,000 - $5,000
• Professional Copy Editing: $1,500 - $3,000
• Cover Design: $500 - $2,500
• Interior Formatting: $500 - $1,000
• Proofreading: $500 - $1,000
Marketing and Launch Expenses:
• Professional Book Launch Consultant: $2,000 - $5,000
• Initial Marketing Budget: $1,000 - $3,000
Wasted Time Calculation:
The average novel takes 3-5 years to complete when self-directed
And your time is worth, conservatively, $25/hour
• 10 hours/week × 52 weeks × 3 years = 1,560 hours
• Total Time Cost: $39,000 in lost productivity
The “Spinning Your Wheels” Tax:
• Endless rewrites: More time lost
• Self-doubt: Priceless (and SOUL-CRUSHING)
• Potential income from not having a published book: Astronomical
Failure Costs:
• Abandoned drafts: Priceless (and PAINFUL)
• Emotional toll of repeated failure: Immeasurable
• Opportunity cost of not completing your creative dream: DEVASTATING
Professional Costs:
• Developmental Editor: $3,000 - $5,000
• Professional Copy Editing: $1,500 - $3,000
• Cover Design: $500 - $2,500
• Interior Formatting: $500 - $1,000
• Proofreading: $500 - $1,000
Marketing and Launch Expenses:
• Professional Book Launch Consultant: $2,000 - $5,000
• Initial Marketing Budget: $1,000 - $3,000
Wasted Time Calculation:
The average novel takes 3-5 years to complete when self-directed
And your time is worth, conservatively, $25/hour
• 10 hours/week × 52 weeks × 3 years = 1,560 hours
• Total Time Cost: $39,000 in lost productivity
The “Spinning Your Wheels” Tax:
• Endless rewrites: More time lost
• Self-doubt: Priceless (and SOUL-CRUSHING)
• Potential income from not having a published book: Astronomical
Failure Costs:
• Abandoned drafts: Priceless (and PAINFUL)
• Emotional toll of repeated failure: Immeasurable
• Opportunity cost of not completing your creative dream: DEVASTATING
Here’s How Much It Costs
To Write a Novel on Your Own
If you’re skipping around and didn’t see the breakdown above, here’s the TOTAL:
Total Potential Investment (Doing It Alone):
$48,500 - $64,000
Yeeks.
Okay, so what would you pay to sidestep ALL of this AGONY?
What would it be worth to you to have a BATTLE-TESTED GUIDE walk you down the easiest route, saving you time, money, and endless frustration?
Would you pay $9,420?
That’s what all the bonuses in Project Everest are worth.
What if it was half that – $4,500? That would be TOTALLY worth it, right?
What if we halved it again and made it 2,000? That would be a steal to get help completing a novel by the end of 2026.
What if I told you you could get it all, and make 2026 the year you write your novel,
GUARANTEED...
And get this...
Here’s How Much
PROJECT EVEREST Costs:
$47
Look at All These BONUSES Again...
🏆 A foolproof MARKETING PLAN for your book (a $1,400 value)
🏆 The “How to Write Funny” course ($300 value)
🏆 Resources and SWIPE FILES for building your author platform ($1,500 value)
🏆 All 4 How to Write Funny books ($50 value)
🏆 COMPREHENSIVE COVERAGE on your story concept ($300 value)
🏆 Tailored strategies for maintaining your writing momentum ($500 value)
🏆 PERSONALIZED GUIDANCE on your drafting process ($500 value)
🏆 The Comedy Business School course ($400 Value)
🏆 A “Don’t Forget Your AUDIOBOOK” SET-UP COURSE ($300 value)
🏆 The chance to win an AUDIOBOOK COVER AND AUDIBLE UPLOAD AND QC—free ($400 value)
🏆 DISCOUNTS on interior formatting and stealth marketing techniques ($300 value)
🏆 Comprehensive feedback on publishing strategies ($400 value)
🏆 Social Media Ads bootcamp ($800 value)
🏆 A final CELEBRATION and reflection Zoom session
🏆 A how-to book to learn about other formats and SALES OPPORTUNITIES ($20 value)
🏆 Comprehensive MARKETING SUPPORT for continued book sales ($600 value)
🏆 A special COMMEMORATIVE GIFT marking your novel’s completion ($ ??? value)
Look at These Testimonials Again...
You met these good folks earlier, but now listen to them—REALLY listen to them.
The top row are a few of the people I’ve worked with.
The bottom row is just a handful of the hundreds of anonymous GLOWING REVIEWS I got from students who took my courses at the Second City Traiing Center in Chicago.
‘First Novel Published’
‘First Novel Published’
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“Helped me define my own, unique comedic style. I CREDIT SCOTT’s class with helping me get my first novel published.”
Annie Goodson
novelist and teacher
‘Extremely Fortunate’
‘Extremely Fortunate’
“I’VE ADMIRED SCOTT Dikkers’ comedy for decades and have been extremely fortunate to work with and learn from him.”
Andy Borowitz
New York Times bestselling author
‘Instrumental’
‘Instrumental’
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“INTRUMENTAL ... Any comedian, no matter their experience, can benefit from SCOTT’S KNOWLEDGE.”
Matthew Spina
#1 Amazon bestselling author, screenwriter
‘Really Loved...’
‘Really Loved...’
“Scott ... told you EXACTLY what he thought of your work and how to improve it. I really loved having him as an instructor.”
‘Incredible’
‘Incredible’
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“Incredible learning experience. Scott could not possibly be more qualified. EXCELLENT feedback. Scott is a master.”
‘Learned So Much’
‘Learned So Much’
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“I learned so much more about being intentional with my structures. Scott ... encourages REFLECTION and GROWTH.”
‘Fantastic’
‘Fantastic’
“Scott is fantastic!
Brilliant,
SUPPORTIVE,
and super helpful!”
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“Scott is fantastic! Brilliant, SUPPORTIVE,
and super helpful!”
Zero-Risk Commitment
100% of your investment will be returned. No questions asked.
FAQs
About Your Sherpa
About Your Sherpa
A lifelong entrepreneur and creator in the entertainment business, Scott Dikkers is the founder of TheOnion.com, The AVClub, and How to Write Funny. He’s a #1 New York Times bestselling author, award-winning filmmaker, performer, and widely regarded as one of the most influential pioneers in comedy history.
His visionary leadership at The Onion, his groundbreaking comic strip, Jim’s Journal, plus his multiple top-10 comedy podcasts have garnered him tens of millions of fans all over the world. Rolling Stone named him one of its top 10 favorite writers. Entertainment Weekly designated him “the funniest person in America” and placed him on the “It List” of the hottest celebrities in show business.
He graced the cover of Time magazine as one of the top 50 movers and shakers online. He’s the winner of the Thurber Prize for American Humor, a Peabody, and more Webby awards than any other individual or organization.
Scott has mentored hundreds of successful writers and written 6 novels of his own, most recently the Amazon bestseller, “The Joke at the End of the World.”
$47
Click the “Sign Up Now” button to go to the order page and fill out your info.
It’s true...
Your Novel Isn’t Writing Itself
But with the right guidance, it absolutely will get written.
BY YOU.